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If you want to attract someone who values sex as much as you, you need to do the very thing you've been taught to do: be transparent.I don't mean that you should post wet t-shirt photos and boast of your deep-throating skills.

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Once you decide that men are closet douchebags, this mindset will inform your interactions with them.My opinion about sexual transparency is practically heresy in the heterosexual dating advice world, where women are routinely admonished for letting it be known that they like sex.Last week I read a piece written by a dating coach for the over-50 set.Women are socialized to believe that men are jerks and men resent women scrutinizing them for covert jerkiness.Where I do agree with dating coaches is on the importance of marketing.Take for example, the slippery case of emotional adultery.

And most of us keep our smartphones within quick grabbing distance, a fact that some argue has further blurred the lines between devotion and deviance.

If only all cheating were categorized by meeting such a simple criteria.

There's all kinds of treachery possible in relationships!

Since I've become intentionally sexually transparent in my dating profile, I haven't met any douchebags. Men like my profile because they know where they stand. My marriage ended for many reasons, but sexual incompatibility was at the top of the list. If you want to write a sexually transparent profile, go for it.

The last thing I want, at 51, is another relationship in which I can't be myself sexually -- or to spend time with someone hoping that the sex will get better, then being disappointed when it doesn't. If a grown man is going to lose respect for me because I'm transparent about sex, then he isn't someone I want to be with anyway. The guy (or guys) you're meant to be with will appreciate it and you don't need to be concerned about the other ones anyway.

Regardless of all the different dishonorable ways you can crush your partner's heart, boundaries still exist.