Dating after cancer
Renee told Burt about her cancer history on their first date, including the fact that it was unlikely she could have children. "I worked through my fears with him — and they disappeared from my head when we had sex.Sexy lingerie helped me feel confident and attractive," she says. You don't have to wear a sign that says "I've had breast cancer," and you don't have to bring it up until you are ready and feel you have some stake in a relationship.
And she learned to protect herself during the initial phase of a sexual encounter by wearing a silky cover-up, gradually working up to full exposure.Each time she met someone new, Linda had to struggle with when and how to tell, and then how to behave in intimate situations.In the beginning, she would blurt out her history almost immediately, frightening herself and her date.According to , most couples are introduced to each other by family members, friends, co-workers, classmates, or neighbors.So look to the people you know — and tell them you'd really appreciate an introduction to a quality person, a serious date. Your social network has resources for you to tap, but you've got to let your friends know what you're looking for and talk up your hopes. The majority of emails, however, were from guys who had actually bothered to read my profile and who genuinely seemed to care. ) I even had replies from a couple of men who'd had testicular cancer, and one from a guy who was "not actually interested because I'm already seeing someone but I just wanted to say fair play to ya!
"This is the most honest profile I've seen," wrote one. " Oh, and there was a genuine offer of a threesome. In the middle of all these heart-warming messages came some genuine, interested responses from some genuinely interesting chaps - exactly the sort I would have chosen to go out with pre-cancer.
I didn't expect the hottest, most eligible guys on the site to contact me, but the thing is, those guys didn't contact me a few years ago when I signed up briefly to another dating site as a flowing-haired, non-cancerous, presumed-fertile woman in the prime of my 20s.
It was useful to know from previous experience that you get a completely mixed bag of responses in the weird and wonderful world of Internet dating, and none of it should be taken personally. What I didn't anticipate was receiving quite the amount of interest I got, and from the amount of genuinely eligible gentlemen I did.
Not everyone wants to date someone who has a history of cancer, and I completely get that.
I have a very public blog with a lot of very personal information, so it's not like I'm trying to hide anything.
"Congratulations on defeating the C-bomb," said another. One of them, in fact, just so happened to be working in the very hospital where I was having my radiotherapy, so I suggested we meet for a coffee.