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One “friend” even threw a catered memorial at her Hollywood mini-mansion with about 60 of his closest “friends.” I don’t think Jonathan had talked to the hostess in well over a decade, not to mention the slew of child actors that came out to cry and tell stories.I sat in the corner with a few of his real friends, and we just watched in amusement.
I hadn’t shared my feelings yet with him, but I was giddy with excitement. He took me to a travel agency the morning of his first day off. He told me to close my eyes and to point to a spot on the big map on the wall. We stayed at a gorgeous hotel, and he booked us a table our first night there at one of the most expensive restaurants in Paris. I’ll never have definitive answers to any of my questions, but I do know the answer to the “theory” that was put out in the press… He was always working, had recently sold a home which left him financially stable and was directing and writing.He had odd little quirks that over time I found charming.He would change his infamous white t-shirt at least once during a visit, and he was constantly wetting his hair.I knew this might be complicated, but Jon and I were friends for many years before either one of these relationships even existed and we had all been out of those relationships for at least three years, so there was no stopping us.He was filming a movie in Prague for three months, and I told him I was going to be the only friend that would visit him.His family, friends and millions of fans around the world were left behind to pick up the pieces of the puzzle. I haven’t written that name in over a decade, and I’ve never put this story down on paper, yet I still think about him all the time. His voicemail picked up and all I remember was me screaming into the phone; And I hung up. My friend, who called me with the news, came over, and we drove to Jonathan’s apartment.
Maybe that’s because the trauma that comes along with being left behind to put the pieces together from a loved one who commits suicide is so great it takes decades to accept. I had been calling his three other best friends who weren’t picking up the phone.
My ex-boyfriend who was also one of Jonathan’s best friends was inside reading a magazine before he crashed out and thought Jonathan had gone to sleep.
When he went in to say goodnight and tell him he was leaving, he assumed he had already fallen asleep and walked out the front door to find his body hanging there by torn pillowcases.
So typical of Jonathan to find humor In something so absurd. Sitting down with our other friends after he committed suicide, we all shared stories. I’ll never really know what was going on in his mind that night he made the decision to end his pain, but I know a few things for sure. It is not the fault of the people they decide to leave behind, and I’m no longer mad at him for deciding to take his life.
The common thread was frustration, confusion, and pain. If we had only talked to one another about the things he was saying and doing. I was blessed to know him and share so many years of memories with him.
He would come out of the bathroom soaking wet and just laugh that maniacal laugh that only he could get away with.